For the lulz! For the LULZ! FOR THE LULZ!

This article (Unicorn Battle Mage) is official and stuff, but should not be taken as actual Paradox canon.

Unlike the FanFiction banner, this page is from the mind of Sketch himself, or someone almost as important. It may or may not get into the actual mod, but for now, just laugh at it.

Unicorn Battle Mage
A Battle Mage Division in Vietnam
Faction AlliedLogoThumb.png Allied Nations
Unit Type Cavalry
Designation Anti-Vehicle, Anti-Air
Tier N/A
Production Building N/A
Secondary Ability Horn Charge
Cost N/A
Production Time N/A
Heroic Upgrade Orbital Friendship Beam
Dev. Status In game
Country of Origin  Fillydelphia, Equestria
Trained at  Canterlot Military Academy
Key Features  » Magic Horn
 » MOS Cutie Mark
 » Impact-Resistant Helmet
 » M15 Combat Horseshoes
 » Apple Family Rations

"Everypony chill out; I got this."

- Sgt. Sugarcube, Unicorn Battle Mage

Tactical Analysis[edit | edit source]

  • Suited for Success: The Unicorn Battle Mage is a highly flexible addition to the ARVN Peacekeeper Reinforcements. Extremely effective against most targets, fast, and tough to damage, they have few drawbacks other than their rarity.
  • Stare Master: Using their Unicorn Magic, the Battle Mage can levitate a battle tank into the air and crush it with ease, pull aircraft out of the sky, or flatten a building. Additionally, when threatened with large numbers of enemy forces, they can throw them off with a sudden aggressive charge.
  • Feeling Pinky Keen: Thanks to their incredible luck and cartoon-like disregard for events which ought to cause them grevious injury, Battle Mages are extremely tough and resist most damage types.
  • Sonic Rainboom When truly threatened, the Battle Mage can call on the Orbital Friendship Beam, which can render an enemy completely unable to fight as they realize that friendship is, indeed, magic.

Operational History[edit | edit source]

For a thousand years, the country of Equestria, the home nation of the sapient equine species refered to simply as Ponies, was ruled with an iron hoof by the tyrant, Princess Celestia, whose legendary personality cult claimed that she was actually responsible for raising the sun each morning. Originally equally ruled by Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna, Celestia lead a coup in 967 AD, banishing Luna to the moon and taking up the role as sole monarch of the nation.

However, in 1967, a Soviet probe accidentally freed Princess Luna from her lunar prison, allowing her to return to Equestria to lead a democratic revolution. This uprising would have been swiftly crushed were it not for Allied intervention, with peacekeeper forces providing air and artillery support for the revolutionary forces final push against Canterlot.

Celestia was deposed, and fled to the Soviet Union, who have sheltered her. Princess Luna was instated as a temporary leader while elections were organized, and programs were set up to reintegrate discriminated ethnic groups such as zebra and buffalo back into Equestrian society.

Unicorns as seen at Equestria

Unicorns used to form the upper crust of Equestrian society; their magical talents giving them free reign in artistic or bureaucratic positions while earth ponies and pegasi were relegated to agricultural/industrial work and dangerous weather manipulation roles. Due to their role in the previous government, they are rarely trusted since regime change, and they have lost a great deal of privilege in society.

Hoping to prevent this distrust from becoming out-and-out racism, the Allies have set up incentives for unicorns to join the Peacekeepers, putting their magical talents to work while at the same time rehabilitating their image and once again encouraging friendship and harmony.

Though unicorn magic is usually limited to small acts related to each pony's special talent, the training and scientific analysis of their magic abilities by Allied scientists has lead to far greater returns, allowing these unicorns to use their magic in combat, primarily for telepathy-based attacks. Unicorns that have displayed the ability to teleport, a rare magical talent, have been redirected to intelligence and demolition specialities, using their abilities to supplement chronospheres for remote explosive delivery.

Of course, unicorns are not the only equine combat force currently operating in Allied service. The famed Air Cavalry, consisting of Pegasus with heavy weapons training, have been invaluable in the Vietnam conflict, while Earth Ponies now comprise nearly 25% of Allied supply train operators.

Behind the Scenes[edit | edit source]

The addition of the Unicorn Battle Mage is intended to give the ARVN a fast-moving heavy hitter to compliment the Stewart Tank in reinforcements.

Allied Nations Peacekeeping Divisions

Italics designate Paradox-Exclusive units and structures.

Infantry Attack DogPeacekeeperJavelin SoldierHeavy DefenderEngineerSpyRiflemanRiot AgentRocketeerTanyaPathfinderRocket Pathfinder
Vehicles MCVProspectorRiptide ACVMultigunner IFVArmoured Response VehiclePavlov Handler TankGuardian TankIcarus Mobile AAAHorizon Artillery TankMirage TankAthena CannonAssault StrikerStewart TankValkyrie Self-Propelled Gun
Experimental Vehicles Particle ExpellerFusion TorchtankBarkhausen ProjectorPlanck CompressorRosen Bridging TankPion Isospin ArrayHiggs MASS TankAres Mobile Solar CannonBohr Wavefunction Adjuster
Aircraft Apollo FighterVindicatorCardinal Transport CopterNightingale CarryallCryocopterLongbow LiberatorCentury Bomber
Heavy Aircraft Pulsar Drone MissileMesofortress GunshipAchilles Superiority FighterHeisenberg Assault CopterQuasar DroneFalcon Command Helicopter
Watercraft DolphinHydrofoilSwan Amphibious PlaneAssault LanderAssault DestroyerSubhunter FrigateAlert IcebreakerAircraft Carrier
Structures Construction YardPower PlantBoot CampOre RefineryArmour FacilityAirbaseStrategic Air CommandSeaportDefence BureauAeronautics ComplexExperimental WorkshopCommand HubChronosphereProton Collider
Defences BarricadeSecurity GateReductMultigunner TurretSpectrum TowerGAP TowerSingularity TowerCryo TowerGrand Collider
Protocols Allied Protocols
Surveillance Sweep/Air Recon SweepChemical MortarsSurgical StrikeAirborne AttackBlitzkrieg!Cryo SatDisinformationGPS LockTime BombChrono SwapWire-Guided Missile StrikeMicrowave BurstGOOP StrikeClockstopShrink VortexChrono Rift
Lore Units Cryo LegionnaireFuture Tank X-1Harbinger GunshipPacifier FAVGrand Cannon
Technologies Spectrum TechnologyCryotechnologyGravametricsChronotechnologyTheoretical TechnologyAutoFix "Zakmes" DroneAllied Small Arms and Equipment
Detailed Information Allied Battle TanksAllied Motor PoolAllied Air ForceAllied NavyAllied Cryo Prison KeepersAllied CharactersAllied Supranational BodiesMembers of the Allied NationsAllied Military-Industrial ComplexMilitary Organisation of the Allied NationsThe World of TomorrowAnalysis of the Allied Nations Peacekeeper Divisions
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