Himmelhammer Van
Faction ConfederateLogoThumb Confederate Revolutionaries
Unit Type Armoured Truck
Designation Assassination Target/Transport
Production Building N/A
Secondary Ability Disembark Passengers
Cost N/A
Production Time N/A
Heroic Upgrade N/A
Dev. Status Modelled
Country of Origin  ImperialGermanythumb Germany
Recovered from  Various Scrapyards, All Around the States
Key Features  » Retrofitted PAWI array
 » 10 cylinder engine
 » Improvised armour
 » Paint job (psychedelic)
 » Packets of snacks (for munchies)

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling vans!"

- Allied Mirage Tank Commander after his attack was foiled.

Tactical AnalysisEdit

  • You Kids Stay Out of This At first glance the Himmelhammer Van, also known as the "Mystery Machine", may appear non-threatening, harmless or, thanks to its (extremely groovy) paint job; plain ridiculous. All is not what meets the eye however; under the exterior of the Himmelhammer lies an array of advanced communication equipment used by Confederate commanders to control their forces.
  • Like, Wow! The Himmelhammer Van is equipped with a mobile PAWI generator capable of concealing friendly troops in a sizable radius. The van itself is cloaked with another advanced PAWI generator that can keep it stealthed even when moving or even attacking its opponents
  • Zikes! Even with the communication equipment and the PAWI generators, there is still enough room for 4 Confederate loyalists to shoot out of the firing ports (AKA windows). Many enemies that have underestimated the Himmelhammer Van have been gunned down by precision fire, blown up by a flurry of rockets from inside the Van or worse, crushed under its immense weight.
  • Relp! However, several very crucial weaknesses must also be taken into consideration. With the Himmelhammer ranked at the highest priority possible, being exposed and having only 1/4" steel plating standing between you and the projectiles from an entire army, recklessly attacking with the Van is generally not a good idea. Additionally, several larger vehicles can crush the Van, so care is needed while operating around them.


The Himmelhammer Van has had a unique history, going through many stages before the vehicle it has become today. Originally designed in Germany as a supply carrier during the Second World War, it was quickly noted for its efficiency, and adapted to various roles. Initially, the vans were repurposed for surveillance, used to spy on the enemy and provide valuable information. As the war went on, however, the Soviets became wise to this use, and so the Himmelhammer had its surveillance equipment swapped for communication arrays, in order to give battlefield orders to soldiers in the field.

This was found to be a better use for the Himmelhammer; sturdy, relatively fast and reliable, the Van was immensely useful for Allied tactics. Alas, this too did not last; the Soviets, soon realising the further increased importance of these Vans, targeted them first, and disrupted communications and battlefield command. Even the addition of a newly developed "GAP generator" was not enough to protect the Van. It has been said that this vehicle was behind the massive advances in communication technology, in order to overcome its weakness.

The Himmelhammer was made obsolete by these advances. No longer necessary for communication, they were again relegated to supply duty. However, near the end of the war, groups of soldiers often modified the Himmelhammer into emergency transports. The Himmelhammer fitted this role well, and the addition of firing slits made it even more effective. However, it was not considered as effective as other transports in the Allied arsenal, and so even this role did not see a mass resurgence of the Himmelhammer. Shortly after production stopped completely, the war ended. Without a battle, the Himmelhammer had little purpose, and so was stored in scrapyards across Germany.

The period after the war saw a large amount of construction required to repair Germany. Thus, for the next five years, the Himmelhammer was used again, this time to transport building materials. Once the construction had finished, the Himmelhammers had served their purpose; many of them were auctioned off to support the funds Germany still required. Prohibitively expensive, however, few were bought, and so Germany salvaged any useful parts from the vans and sold them separately, and sold the gutted van as a cheap vehicle.

These vans became surprisingly popular not in Germany, but in America. The growing "hippie" culture took them up in the dozens; they fitted this group perfectly. Cheap, reliable, salvaged, and with room enough to live in if you wished, there could be fewer better alternatives. The new owners of the vans painted them in bright and psychedelic colours, and outfitted them with decorations, which earned these Vans the nickname of "Mystery Machines", as you never knew what an individual van would look like. When the Confederates rose up, the owners of these vans pledged their support against the "war-mongering" Allies, and the Confederates took notice.

Replacing the obsolete remains of the GAP generator with a more effective PAWI field, salvaging the rusted communications equipment, and adding more internal armour, the "modern" Himmelhammer was soon in action. Able to cloak huge areas, hold many soldiers who fire through firing slits, and able to masquerade as "another van of damn hippies" between battles, the Himmelhammer continues its proud legacy as a tried and tested battle vehicle; ironically in a manner of "revenge" against those who left it to rust.

Behind the ScenesEdit

The Himmelhammer is based on a suggestion by TLhikan. It also appears to be based on the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo.

Confederate Revolutionaries Continental Army

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