Crisis Drone
A vaguely insectoid Crisis Drone
Faction SovietLogoThumb Soviet Union
Unit Type Amphibious Drone
Designation Healing, Support
Production Building Drone Kennel
Secondary Ability Drone of Plenty
Deactivates self to heal units
Cost Unknown
Production Time Unknown
Heroic Upgrade N/A
Dev. Status Unknown
Country of Origin  RussianSFSRthumb Russian SFSR
Manufactured at  Ministry of Experimental Science, Omsk
Key Features  » Zinc-plated manipulator claws
 » "Izobilie" supply-dispersal trigger
 » "DON'T PANIC" sign & Smiley Face
 » Safety and survival supplies
 » "Ekaterina" pre-recorded voice

"Don't Panic. Remain Calm."

- Crisis Drone

Tactical Analysis

  • Don't Panic: The Crisis Drone specialises in all sort of odd jobs, from defusing bombs to converting mines to your side.
  • Help is on the way: In the event that a friendly unit needs medical attention or repairs, the Crisis Drone can sacrifice itself to heal and repair all friendlies near it.
  • Recovery: In addition, the Crisis Drone can capture the husks of destroyed units, restoring them to working order.
  • Forced Shutdown: The Crisis Drone has yet another surprise; by jumping into enemy vehicles, it can disable their weapons, rendering them helpless against enemy attack.

Operational History

A particular argument against the Soviet Union and sometimes communism in general is in how much their system affects the citizenry for the negative. Stalin's monstrous lack of concern for the lives of Soviet civilians, and Cherdenko's apathy in doing anything to improve civilian life has put truth to the argument, certainly.

First World propaganda is always quick to point out the atrocities and draconian law the Soviet governments put on the people under their rule, and no small amount of this propaganda is rooted in real incidents. However, with the advent of Davidova as Premier, the new Soviet government appears to be trying - at least, somewhat - so far to be turning this public image around. Beyond examples such as the Vodyanoy Battlesuits, Scrapper Tanks, or Dump Trucks, there exists another product of Soviet ingenuity that serves as a positive example for Soviet civilian relations - the Crisis Drone.

The Crisis Drone itself is an entirely "pacifistic" design, an evident clue that the drone type itself is very new. Its origins lay in the twilight of World War III, as inner-strife among Soviet citizens lead to revolts, rebellions, and demonstrations against the war that had taken so many comrades lives and given the Soviets little in return. Battles began to break out in the streets of Soviet countries between those loyal to Cherdenko, and those who wanted an end to the war. And one particularly destructive fight near the end of the war took place in the Ukrainian city of Kiev, where the Battle of Khreshchatyk took place.

Starting off as a premature shut-down of the student anti-war protesters marching down the main street of the city by the police, and ending in one of the largest riots in Soviet history, the Battle of Kreshchatyk was, in the words of all involved, terrifying. Students were armed with whatever old weapons they could scrounge up; armoured city buses, cars, and even a single locomotive, old Anvils and Pincers, and ZDS-10 Throwable Inflammatory Devices; the police responded with police Sickles, Threshers, Alkonosts, Anvils, and even a few Rhino Tanks.

The battle raged on for the better part of three days, and only ended when the police, in a highly risky and ultimately futile move, detonated many of the buildings along the main street of the city in an attempt to end the battling protesters. In the aftermath of the battle, many innocents who hadn't participated one way or another in the fighting found themselves trapped inside the burning remains of the city's buildings. The efforts by the remainder of the police and students, no longer hostile but still wary of the other side, to get these comrades out was varied and heroic, sensationalized in many underground newspapers of the USSR.

Among these efforts, one particular rescue method that caught the attention of those who read the newspapers was the use of modified Terror Drones who had belonged to an old Combat Engineer. Having had an entire "litter" of them gifted as a retirement present by his colleagues, the nameless former engineer had blunted the claws of the drones, taken out their stasis ray, replaced the insides with both messages to not give up hope, and modified the internal programming to instead beep, get to, and deliver the messages before coming back to the engineer as quickly as possible to lead him to the person. After this, the drones were sent out inside the rubble, and many survivors pulled out would recall seeing one of the modified drones and feel less terrified with the knowledge that rescuers were coming.

One of the people who regularly read such newspapers was General, and then soon Premier Davidova. In the aftermath of World War 3, faced with the numerous riots and destruction of anti-Soviet "comrades", she recalled the Combat Engineer and his drones, and ordered the man temporarily out of retirement to assist in designing a new variety of drone.

The end result of all of this is what is now known as the Crisis Drone. Far from the modified and partly stripped drones of the old engineer, the final product is almost completely different, changed and modified extensively to fit a new, unique role. Dismantler Claws were discarded, replaced with more delicate and flexible Manipulator Claws capable of opening doors and dragging wounded people away without splitting their skin open; the electromagnetic ray was taken out entirely and the chassis itself enlarged for room to fit supplies; and, most uniquely, outfitted with both a metal smiley face on the front and a prerecorded voice-box.

The drone's job itself is to act as a support for emergency and medical forces - capable of crawling through rubble or other inaccesible areas that humans cannot get through easily, the Crisis Drone will seek out nearby living humans that may be trapped, or otherwise unable to escape. Once reaching any people still alive, it will broadcast soothing instructions in a female voice to remain calm and avoid panicking to those trapped, while using its "face" to calm the nerves of those who see it.

Then, it will unfold itself, destroying the machinery controlling it in the process, and reveal first-aid kits, food, water, medicine, children's toys, survival pamphlets (which quickly became famous for the words "DON'T PANIC" printed out in prominent bold letters on their covers) - whatever is deemed potentially necessary for the people it is designed to find until other rescuers can get there.

This is not limited to civilian matters only - a solitary Hammer Tank or a squad of Conscripts alone and wounded on the field of battle are just as in danger as civilians in a bombed building, and Crisis Drones can also be made to carry special medical supplies, vodka, and repair tools and material to fix military units up as well.

In normal times, this would be all it was designed to do - but in the days after World War III, times are definitely no longer normal. It is a sad but true fact that, in addition to normal emergencies, Crisis Drones may be called out to battlefields where rebels, insurrectionists, or other enemy forces will be found. In light of this fact, Crisis Drones are also instructed in other areas.

Without any weaponry to their names (as weapons tend to actually panic civilians unable to defend themselves, for some reason), Crisis Drones are instead instructed in the arts of negation - their manipulator claws are able to defuse bombs laid by bourgeoisie terrorists, carefully take apart and refit mines laid in the ground so that they will turn on their original seeders, and even rewire downed vehicles so that police or soldiers may use them to transport wounded quickly back to the hospitals.

And though they must be carefully programmed to be dissuaded from climbing in Soviet vehicles, their instructions have caused Crisis Drones to actively climb into other vehicles, and actively defuse or disassemble any weapon platforms that might be in or around it.

Crisis Drones are actually required in every commander's force nowadays - as it is likely that the Red Army may be called to civilian-populated areas, where there is no way for them to fight terrorists or invaders without collateral damage, there exists the possibility that Crisis Drones will be needed on the field of battle to help search and rescue wounded or trapped civilians.

While commanders first grumbled about the fact that they were forced to spend rubles on these drones instead of being able to simply leave the civilians to the clean-up crews, but both the positive image the Crisis Drones represent, as well as the ability to fix up their soldiers and vehicles in the field has turned the minds of most.

An official state-sponsored television show, "My Little Drone: Friendship is Communism" is already in progress.

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